thought#22

so u probably haven't read about my friend whom i didn't call on his birthday, and made wild rationalizations to support my idea- funny thing, he and i chatted for 2 hours today. and here i was thinking that we would never talk again. ever. i kind of found that comforting. but discussions on these peculiarities of mine could be done later.
what's funny is the series of random events that let to this little incident. i had 'accidentally' had checked the 'remember password' checkbox in my gtalk recently, and even though i unchecked it a million times, it still kept logging me on on startup. so while i was sitting unaware of my online status(coz i log out as soon as possible, unless i have to talk to someone available about something important) he logged in had a pleasant chat with who he thinks is his old friend. does he know how different a person i now have become, how much i have changed? he hasn't changed a bit.he still shared those inside jokes i had long forgotten, he remembered all those quirks and eccentricities i used to have, reminded me of so much long gone. in short unexpectedly aake life me hulchul macha k chala gaya.
i don't know why he still clings on to us being friends. most of my other 'friends' have given up on calling me. how can he still remember every detail of that guy i used to be 4 years ago. how is it that he hasn't changed at all?
why is it that we can't at once end things like relationships in single go? why is there always some baggage left behind? i was so sure that after what i did, he and i would never talk again. but we did. which is stupid because this could be our last conversation. i wanted our last conversation to be something emphatic- like my not calling on his b'day. yup, sometimes even not calling is a conversation. it is classy, stylish, unlike chatting up the past for 2 hours. this just ended me with him extracting a promise that i would send him my photo(maine tujhe kabse nahi dekha photo daal na, orkut join kar na,etc. etc.), which i know i never will. and that is just a hanging in the air kind of thing.
can't things just end forever and nothing come back to remind u of all the baggage u carry? i wish they did. but the universe just isn't perfect.